Self-Care for Survivors: Rest as a Radical Act of Resistance
"You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm."
— African Proverb
Imagine this: You’ve been running a marathon for as long as you can remember. Each step is heavier than the last, and you’re exhausted, but you keep pushing forward because it feels like you have to. Now, imagine what would happen if you stopped running—not because you’re giving up, but because you’re choosing to rest.
For many survivors of trauma, this feels almost impossible. The idea of rest can seem like a luxury or even a betrayal to our responsibilities, our communities, or ourselves. But what if I told you that rest is not just a break, but a deeply radical act of resistance? What if rest is part of the healing, part of reclaiming your power, and part of breaking free from systems that have historically demanded your labor and strength without concern for your well-being?
Decolonizing Rest: Reclaiming What’s Been Taken
Rest is not just about physical relaxation. It's a practice of decolonization—a way to disrupt a world that often glorifies overwork, hustle, and productivity at the expense of our health. For Black, Indigenous, and people of color, this weight can feel even heavier due to the additional layers of historical, cultural, and generational trauma. Rest is a form of reclaiming our humanity, our dignity, and our right to simply be.
Rest challenges oppressive systems that tell us our worth is tied to how much we produce or how hard we push ourselves. These systems weren’t built for us—they were built on our backs. Choosing to rest is choosing to resist those narratives.
Layers of Trauma: Why Rest is Essential
Trauma is rarely just one thing. It often exists in layers:
Collective Trauma: The pain and injustice carried by marginalized communities, often woven into the fabric of our history.
Historical Trauma: Wounds passed down through generations, carried in our bodies, our cultures, and our stories.
Familial Trauma: The hurt we inherit from our families—cycles that continue until we’re brave enough to pause and begin to heal.
Personal Trauma: The individual experiences that shape us, our fears, and our sense of safety.
Each of these layers can weigh heavily on our shoulders, often leading to a constant state of hypervigilance—a feeling that we need to be "on" all the time to survive. This chronic stress can impact our health in significant ways:
Weakened immune system
Chronic fatigue and burnout
Sleep disturbances
Increased anxiety and depression
Digestive issues
Inflammation and chronic pain
This stress-response is not just in your mind; it’s in your body. Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.
Rest as a Radical Act of Healing
Rest, in its many forms, is a way of saying, “I will not be consumed by what has harmed me.” Whether it’s a moment of quiet, a nap, turning off your phone, or engaging in joyful activities, rest is a way to nourish and reset your nervous system. Here’s what rest can look like:
Grounding in Nature: Spending time outdoors, connecting with the earth, and feeling the sun on your skin.
Mindful Moments: Taking deep breaths, meditating, or finding stillness even if just for a few minutes.
Movement Without Pressure: Engaging in gentle, restorative movement like stretching, yoga, or walking without any expectation other than to be present.
Creative Outlets: Exploring art, writing, or music as ways to express and release emotions without judgment.
Sleep Without Guilt: Allowing yourself to sleep in or take a nap without feeling “lazy” or “unproductive.”
Giving Yourself Permission to Rest
In a world that often tells us to "keep going" no matter what, rest is a way of saying, "I matter." It’s a way of honoring your body and spirit. It’s a way to break free from the cycles of burnout that trauma and oppressive systems impose.
African American activist and scholar Audre Lorde said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” This quote reminds us that self-care—especially rest—isn’t just a personal choice, but a declaration of worth.
So if you’re feeling exhausted, drained, or overwhelmed, give yourself permission to rest. Know that by doing so, you’re not giving up—you’re gathering strength. You’re healing. You’re resisting.
Practical Tips for Integrating Rest
It’s not always easy to suddenly start resting if you’re used to always being “on.” Here are a few ways to begin:
Start Small: Incorporate micro-moments of rest throughout your day, even if it’s just pausing to take a few deep breaths.
Create a Restful Ritual: Develop an evening routine that allows your mind and body to wind down—light a candle, listen to calming music, or journal.
Honor Your Body’s Needs: Tune into what your body is asking for—sleep, water, food, stillness, or movement. Respecting your body’s needs is a form of self-love.
Set Boundaries: Say no when you need to, and protect your time and energy. Boundaries create space for rest.
Find Community: Connect with others who value rest and well-being, whether it’s through support groups, therapy, or like-minded communities.
Let’s Talk About Your Journey
If you’re a survivor navigating the layers of trauma, I see you. You deserve a space where you can explore these layers without judgment, where your story is heard, and where your healing journey can unfold at your pace. Rest is not a sign of weakness—it’s a strength, a reclamation, a form of power.
I’d love to walk with you on this journey and help you reconnect with the parts of yourself that have been pushed aside or silenced. Let’s honor your story together, and let’s start with rest.
Ready to rest and resist? Reach out and let’s start the healing together.
